Posted by Kim on January 06, 1999 at 09:56:01:
In Reply to: Maybe it's time to say goodbye soon! posted by PHILIP and BON BON on January 06, 1999 at 07:55:18:
Wish I could tell you it's easy but nothing about it is. When Big Time
began to get sicker and sicker from complications with FIV, my Vet told me I'd know when the time was right. He was right.
On the dreaded day Big Time and I spent the morning at the lake so he could look at the water and the ducks and spend some
time together just the two of us until it was time to go. He was still very alert but his little body was wracked with pain.
I stayed with him until the very end. I had folks who drove me, stayed with me and got me home. The Vet cried,
the receptionist
cried, we all cried. I didn't want to lose him but he was suffering. You'll need support should it
come to this and we'll be
here for you.
Posted by Tally on January 06, 1999 at 10:17:38:
In Reply to: Maybe it's time to say goodbye soon! posted by PHILIP and BON BON on January 06, 1999 at 07:55:18:
I am so sorry to hear this. I was really hoping Bon Bon would rally with the IV's. Know that we are all praying for you, and that you will make the right decision, no matter how painful, because you love him. (((((hugs)))))
Posted by susan on January 06, 1999 at 09:56:55:
In Reply to: Maybe it's time to say goodbye soon! posted by PHILIP and BON BON on January 06, 1999 at 07:55:18:
hi philip---
i put my mickey to sleep about 8 years ago. he was 20 yrs. old but
i lived in illinois and he was in nj with my brother (who wasn't taking very good care of him). he was pretty much blind and
wasn't eating very well, but he was still alert. to move him after he had been born and raised in the same house didn't seem
like an option at the time. euthanizing him was the hardest thing i ever had to do and i still think about him but i know
he is in a better place now. you have to do what you think is best even if it hurts. i'll be thinking about you both.
susan lip
Posted by kk on January 06, 1999 at 09:11:56:
In Reply to: Maybe it's time to say goodbye soon! posted by PHILIP and BON BON on January 06, 1999 at 07:55:18:
I haven't had to do this yet, but I thought I would a few months ago. It was the worst nightmare I have ever endured. You MUST remember that you are a wonderful, loving parent to Bon Bon, and that you will always do the right thing. Bon Bon knows that you love him, and he is lucky to have found you in this world. You are not alone right now, and Bon Bon is loved by many people who have never even met him. I really do feel your pain. Kk
Posted by susan on January 06, 1999 at 08:38:30:
In Reply to: Maybe it's time to say goodbye soon! posted by PHILIP and BON BON on January 06, 1999 at 07:55:18:
Philip, we had to euthanize Grushenka (age 14) in June after a 3 day hospitalization and ultimately a diagnosis of cancer. She was going to die of respiratory arrest and we went in to see her. She tried to climb out of the oxygen tank thing she was in. Her eyes were so sad and she was so sick but she was mentally alert and telling us it was ok, she was ready. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but she was going to die painfully and soon if we waited. I'm telling you this because I think Bon Bon will tell you when it's ok and that will be a relief for you both. If he's conscious, not drowsy, you will know what he's saying -- it may help for you to look at it that way.I know too well how hard this all must be for you; we're all here to listen and help if we can.
Posted by Cherie on January 06, 1999 at 08:11:50:
In Reply to: Maybe it's time to say goodbye soon! posted by PHILIP and BON BON on January 06, 1999 at 07:55:18:
Philip, I had a similr experience with my Loretta. She started losing weight in November and I took her to the vets. He thought it could be her teeth (she had received dental care) or possibly some form of cancer. She was a stray I had for 2 1/2 years and I was never quite sure how hold she was, possibly over 10. We treated the teeth; 11 extractations. She would not eat or drink and continued to lose weight. We took her for IVS, force feed her special food. However, she still continued to lose weight. She was still alert and tried to keep up with her normal routine during the day. The vet said because she was so thin he thought upon exam he could feel nodules on her liver. We gave her IVs and were going to have exploratory surgery on Monday to see if that was what it was. We talked about the possibility that if she had advanced cancer, we would have to make the decision that she not wake up from the surgery.. That weekend; however, she seemed to be getting better. Eating when I spoon fed her and drinking some. I postponed the surgery. However, during the next few days she got steadily worse. IVs constantly and dropping to just over 4 lbs from original 9 lbs. We scheduled the surgery for Monday. When we took her to the vet, she was alert. I wrapped her in her beach towel with her favorite toy. The vet called us during the surgery and said she did have advanced liver cancer and there was not anything that could be done. We would just postpone the inevitable. We made the decision not to let her wake up. To let her go peacefully without anymore suffering. I could not let her starve to death and suffer a great amount of pain. This was one of the hardest things I have ever done. As I write this, I am crying. I hope it helps you with your decision. Everyone is different, and everyone should make their own decision. Prayers for you. Keep in touch.
Posted by Traci on January 02, 1999 at 23:00:49:
In Reply to: Euthanasia decision posted by Philip on January 02, 1999 at 18:34:48:
And I think we have all been in this same situation at one time or another...
From experience, and from a personal point of view, I think that you and only you are the only one who knows your kitty the best. You have shared a bond with him all these years that we can't possibly know the right thing to tell you...You know him best, and you know how he is or is not progressing with the cardiomyopathy... Personally, I always try to lean on the natural aspect of things, unless, of course, there is pain or suffering endured. Although neither is easy to deal with, your heart will tell you what to do, and your kitty will let you know as well, in his own way...I don't think I'd give up either, I think it all depends on your level of faith and conviction, and the true health status of your baby. As long as he remains alert, is eating alittle, shows no outward signs of pain or suffering, who are we, really, to make that final decision, I truly feel your kitty will clue you in to the time if necessary, by the way he looks at you, by the way of his attitude and behavior and by the way you feel in your heart.
Deciding euthanasia is terrifying for us, and second thoughts can be even more terrifying, I truly understand your confusion, but if I can offer any comfort at all here, I think it would be to say, follow your heart, and let your kitty guide you by his actions and his outward behavior...And let your heart be conscious... And I also understand cardiomyopathy, it can be equally terrifying, especially because we can't predict what, if anything, might happen, and every precious second counts, as you know....you must truly cherish your time with your little darling, as I'm sure you are doing just now, this is sometimes, the very best that we can do... Whether the medications are a temporary fix or not, I think I would continue them, for the sake of hope, if he tolerates the medication process, then he's telling you, Dad, it's OK, I know you're trying to help me.....And he does understand more than you think he does. I wish I had the perfect answer for you Phillip, I think you must follow your heart and look deep inside the bond that you and your kitty share, and if or when the time is necessary, you will find it there...... Prayers for you and your precious one, and comforting thoughts to you as well, please give your baby lots of hugs and kitty kisses for me and know that you are not alone...........Traci
Posted by Mary L on January 06, 1999 at 14:54:56:
In Reply to: Maybe it's time to say goodbye soon! posted by PHILIP and BON BON on January 06, 1999 at 07:55:18:
Philip--I have not followed your posts closely, I am sorry to say, but I am sending prayers for your beautiful Bon Bon and for you, as you struggle with your decision. Mary L
-------------
May I Go?
May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain-filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and living light.
I want to go
I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.
I'll not be far,
I promise that, and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.
Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too,
that's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.
written by Susan A. Jacksonnds2
Posted by Traci on January 06, 1999 at 14:38:03:
In Reply to: Maybe it's time to say goodbye soon! posted by PHILIP and BON BON on January 06, 1999 at 07:55:18:
I truly understand your confusion and heartache, these decisions are never easy....
Phillip, when you say Bon-Bon's leg is cold, as a doctor, you know that the blood supply and flow is gone and you risk severe infection now that can spread and cause an even greater amount of suffering...I know you know this and have considered the worse case scenario, and I know you are truly confused about the "right time"... You must find strength and courage in your thinking, and you must find your faith and try to rationalize the best way you can...On one hand, you're not ready to let go of Bon Bon, and on the other hand, you know it MIGHT be the best gift you can provide for him, letting him go as peacefully as possible... In answer to your question about if he can recognize you, I think at ALL times of necessity, our loved ones recognize us, and they indeed know that we are there for them, I, personally, could not bear to let one of my babys go alone, I would just HAVE to be there to love, hold, and comfort them, to whisper in their ear, and tell them how much they've meant to me, and how very much I love them. Cats are very mystical creatures and they are very spiritual, and they know a great deal more than we give them credit for, they DO understand us, our feelings, our actions, they can sense this about us, which is why they are such wonderful and precious creatures...And I think our presense is the most wonderful thing we can provide for them during that "time", they need reassurance, comfort, and all the love we can give them in the final moments...If I were dying, or asked someone to let me go, either by injection or pulling the plug, I would most definately need someone with me to help guide me and calm my fears, this would be the ultimate peaceful thing to do......
I think, that if that time should occur, your heart will guide you, and that if you have told Bon Bon how very much it is that you love him, he definately knows that you have been there for all his needs, and I think if he could talk to you, he might ask you to help him in the "ultimate"...Again, as a doctor, you know the risks involved with his current health status, and your own private convictions must be your guide.... We can all offer our support for you, and we can be here for as long as you need us, however, it must be your decision, based on you knowing your Bon Bon the best. As I posted to you earlier, you must face this with a conscious heart, and find some course of strength for your decisions. I think the infection has already set in, and you do risk a more severe suffering for Bon Bon, unless, of course, Cornell can offer you a more beneficial course of treatment. Of course, I always like to pray for miracles, and I certainly will pray for you and Bon Bon... But, there are times, and you must decide if this is that time, when you must Let go and Let God...... I wish I could give you a big HUG right now, and give you comforting words of encouragement, but this text and my prayers will have to do, you are most definately NOT alone, we're all here for you and Bon Bon and we won't leave you, and youhave a multitude of prayers behind you.......... Sending love, courage and healing energy to both of you.............Traci
Posted by Sandra on January 06, 1999 at 22:19:28:
In Reply to: MORE THOUGHTS posted by PHILIP on January 06, 1999 at 22:11:02:
Bon Bon will let you know if he is happy or not. I have seen kitties with amputations before, and there are even little "wheel chairs" that can me made for your kitty. I once saw one, when it was on the back half of the kitty, and he moved around with his front legs, and he was a happy little kitty. He was actually the "Vet" kitty at our old vet clinic, and he even would donate his blood when needed :) I believe Bon Bon will let you know if he is ready to move onto his next step in life. I truly believe he will be with you forever, right next to you. His "Life" I believe will not end with his passing from this body. Please do not torment yourself. You are doing the best job any companion could ask for! Don't forget that kiss from me and my furbabies! Sandra
Posted by Tally on January 07, 1999 at 10:10:27:
In Reply to: IT IS ALMOST TIME FOR BON BON TO LEAVE US posted by PHILIP on January 07, 1999 at 06:14:33:
This is such a difficult decision to have to make. Although we are like parents, and our pets our children, human parents are not faced with these decisions, nor are they likely to have their children die before them. This is one of the most difficult and agonizing decisions you will ever make. Because you know the pain it will bring. But in the end, we postpone that pain because our love for our pet is greater, and that love helps us find the way. Whatever you decide, and whenever you decide, I know that it will always be with love. And Bon Bon knows it too. May God give you strength, and peace. Know that my prayers are with you both as you take this journey together.
Posted by Margie on January 08, 1999 at 10:25:18:
In Reply to: Goodbye BON BON, I love you forever posted by PHILIP on January 07, 1999 at 23:21:44:
Philip, I have followed your struggle with Bon Bon. I have never had to make that decision, and my heart just ached for you. Your love for this beautiful animal led you to give him every chance and then to put an end to his suffering. You were very lucky to have each other.
Posted by Desiree on January 08, 1999 at 09:07:25:
In Reply to: Goodbye BON BON, I love you forever posted by PHILIP on January 07, 1999 at 23:21:44:
Philip, in time the pain will lessen, and you will have your wonderful memories of BonBon to guide you and comfort you. I am truly sorry and saddened by your loss, I think almost everyone here can relate to the loss of a pet (our friends, confidents and babies). We are all here for you when ever you need us. Thank you for allowing us to be part of your's and BonBon's life these past few days, you have touched us all deeply. Hugs Désirée and Ambush
Posted by susan on January 08, 1999 at 17:46:20:
In Reply to: All cat owners! Watch out for Cardiomyopathy posted by Philip on January 08, 1999 at 06:10:21:
I couldn't get it on my little home pc but got on at work today, though on Netscape I couldn't sign guestbooks. (I'll try later on my roommate's software.) But what a beautiful site you made for him and what a beautiful cat he was. I could feel his gentle nature in the photos. From the things you wrote it is so clear to me that you were meant to be together and Bon Bon will be with you always. It will be 7 months next week since I lost my Grushenka but I'm still so close to it that I truly understand your pain. I think that by spreading the word like thi about his disease, you are helping Bon Bon to live on.
To: Philip,
Bon Bon was a very special baby and I know you will miss him
so much. I will light a candle to help light his way to the Rainbow Bridge.
He will play in fields of wild flowers and chase butterflies until the
day that the two of you are reunited.
- Marina (Cat-Lady)
Posted by kk on January 08, 1999 at 21:59:53:
In Reply to: All cat owners! Watch out for Cardiomyopathy posted by Philip on January 08, 1999 at 06:10:21:
I hope you are doing ok. I know you are hurting right now, but you're not alone. I told my husband last night that I didn't think Bon Bon would be "still with us" when I signed on this morning. I cried for you. I couldn't bring myself to go into your web page until this afternoon. Bon Bon *is* very beautiful. I cried some more. I just want you to know that you were both so very lucky to have had each other. I know he loved you as much as you loved him. kk
Posted by Angela Giordano on January 08, 1999 at 21:27:49:
In Reply to: All cat owners! Watch out for Cardiomyopathy posted by Philip on January 08, 1999 at 06:10:21:
After posting my initial reply to your message about cardiomyopathy,
I noticed the mention of your home page in your earlier messages, and went to see it. God (or whoever is in charge around here)
bless you for being so expressive and so creative about your relationship and parting with Bon Bon. I think you've done
a service, whether you meant to or not, for all those--including many readers of this board, I'm sure--who have been
through something similar and failed to do the necessary grief work. Not to mention that you may even have
helped
some passer-by understand how difficult pet loss can be, which bosses, colleagues, relatives and even
friends often don't.
I hope another friend as beautiful and gracious as Bon Bon comes into your life soon.